Today I painted the same lemon. 4 times. In varying degrees of success. The first two I painted made my heart hurt. They punched my ego in the face and pulled down its pants. I know that these are feelings I have to feel. They are OH SO uncomfortable. But this is the whole point of everything. Knowing that I have a second sketchbook that I have started that is being filled with anything but cafe sketches lets me see through the haze of discomfort and steadies my heart. I'm on the right path. It hurts, but I'm walking it.